Saturday, June 22, 2013
If you aren't learning, you aren't living. I truly believe we learn from our mistakes, so long as we don't keep making them. I also believe humility is as much gained in our shortcomings as it is in our successes. The ability to not allow one, or the other to have a disproportionate amount of this humility is what I think establishes our maturity.
Thus far, 2013 has been a pretty rough year in terms of running. It's been the school of hard knocks, and it's only June. However, not for one second will I pout and harp on the would have, could have, should haves of the year. In a very real sense, this year has been perhaps the most mentally and physically demanding year of running because of the fact I was basically starting from scratch. I battled back from months of random, weird, and ill timed injuries to run a lot of not so stellar races. Normally, when fully healthy, my race results would have had me feeling fairly disapointed. I'd be lying if they didn't urk me at some point, but I learned to let them go in realization that I needed to set my personal expectations much lower when running with a body still on the mend.
In 2013, I learned that it is incredibly difficult to build up the training volume needed to just finish 100 mile races, while simultaneously trying to recover from other injuries. To be fair, it did come with some trial and error. Okay, so it was more error than trial. I accrued a nasty deep tissue bruise on my metatarsel that knocked me out of the Graveyard 100, I slogged through an 8 hour trail race, sprained an ankle 8 miles into a 50k, and proceeded to fizzle out on two other 50k trail runs. All that lead up to my back injury debaucle at Massanutten. Sounds pretty ridiculously not fun, right?
The answer? Half true. Of course in the moment, it really sucked. Feeling crappy always sucks in the moment, but being present with what is happening is the very reason I do these crazy ass races. I could easily try to wander off to some "happy place", and sometimes I've tried, but these incredibly physical and mental low points are the exact places you find out what you are truly made of. These are the places you don't get venture into every day, and sometimes, it takes running some insane 100 mile race to get there. I think humans have built in a wide margin of safe zones throughout their everyday lives. You know, kind of like the bumper guards they put up at bowling alleys so that even if you roll a shot that couldn't knock over a town drunk, you still never end up in the gutter. The gutter, my friends, if where the learning happens.
The Mohican 100 was a special race, regardless of the fact I got e coli sickness from drinking from a stream when I had run out of water. It was a calculated risk, and one that I ended up on the losing end of. But, here's a question for you. How many runners know what it feels like to spend over 4 hours at an aid station laying down sick after already spending an hour laying on the side of the trail? How many runners know what it feels like to be in the top 10 for 81 miles before a nasty virus strips them of their strength, and in an instant threatens to end their race? Most people, no less runners, would argue that having never experienced something like this is probably a good thing. How could anything like this be fun? Fun? No it was never fun, but a part of me relished the fact that I was getting to partake in an experience, albeit bad, that most people may never get to. This time around I knew that overcoming this bad experience would lead me to a place of greater fortitude than if I have never been there. It was a concept that I had not yet grasped during the onset of my struggles at Massanutten, but became so much more evident as I neared the finish.
Massanutten and Mohican were not pretty races. 203.7 total miles and 61 hours and 33 minutes of elapsed time. Slow as all get out, but I think I learned more in those two races than a lot of my other events combined. A 50k can't take you where a 100 will. A 50 miler can't take you there either. Sometimes you have to go beyond the conventionally accepted distance to reach those fascinatingly uncharted waters.
2003- The year I learned I actually like running
2004- The year I learned I can actually run really far
2005- The year I learned I can actually train to run really far and still be able to walk the next day
2006- The year I learned about proper nutrition
2007- The year I learned I can run 100 miles
2008- The year I learned I can run faster if I work hard
2009- The year I started running faster at ultras and it showed, but got humbled by races like MMT
2010- The year I set PR's at all distances and still got faster, but got humbled by races like Leadville
2011- The year I barely ran because of bad relationships, but learned to press on and finish my dream race, Western States
2012- The year I learned I still had mojo to run fast, but also learned the hard way to stop running when your body tells you to stop
2013- The year I lost a lot my fitness and somehow soldiered through five ultras, two of which were challenging 100's.
What will I learn next?
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
*Update: Apparently, my issues were from a bad bout with e coli. Read on.*
Opening Scene. Fire tower aid station. Mile 86
"We can call our medic, and he can give you a ride back"
"Yeah, I'm done. I can't even move my knee"
"Ok then. Just relax, keep that ice on it, and we will drive you back soon. 86 miles is still an incredible effort. Fire tower to finish. We have another drop"
"Who's that that all wrapped up laying there?"
"Oh, that's Mike, he's been here for three hours"
"Is he ok?"
"No, he's had some serious stomach issues for the past 4-5 hours and it's only gotten worse"
"Good news, our medic just arrived to pick up the two drops. You should wake Mike up so he can get a ride back with them"
"Mike, mike! If you want, you can get a ride back now"
Me: "No way! I am finishing this thing"
Eight hours earlier at the Hickory Ridge aid station. Mile 71.
A volunteer yells, "Mike, you have really been moving up all day!". Indeed, after fifteen hours of running my strategy was starting to pay off. I ran the first 26.8 mile loop in a fairly relaxed 5 hours flat. The second 26.8 mile loop was an even more relaxed 5:45 in order to save myself for a strong push later. I was going to keep the effort level comfortable in the heat and humidity, and wait until the cool of the late afternoon to start an aggressive push towards the front. I was going to crush the remaining two 23.2 mile loops.
For the past 5 hours, I had been picking my way past runners. Top 30 through 26.8 miles. Top 25 through 41 miles. Top 20 through 50 miles. Top 15 through 58 miles.
As I passed yet another runner around mile 67. My position climbed one more time.....9th overall. I was running with all cylinders firing away. I knew even if I faded a little on the last loop, I would finish in about 22:30. Out of nearly 300 starters, I was in the hunt, and closing in on my goal to run a 22 hour race. I was focused, and executing to perfection the race I had planned out.
......But, I had noticed my stomach starting to fall apart. No, not now! Not after all this hard work to finally crack the top 10. Everything was going too well to let my stomach eff it all up. Just like Massanutten, it looked like my race was going to unravel after mile 70. I tried fighting back as hard as I knew how. I knew my body well, and over the next few hours I used every trick in the bag to attempt to settle my stomach. Ginger, ginger ale, salt, soup, Tums, ice, ice water, Ensure, daydreaming about Maria Sharapova handing me a cocktail on a tropical beach.....on and on. I tried everything. Things that had worked in the past were failing to provide any semblence of relief. Nothing freaking worked! Other than serious injury, stomach issues are the worst. When you can't eat, you lose energy. It made walking forward a chore, and moving up any kind of hill nearly impossible. Strangely enough, I had yet to be passed by anyone except the ninth place runner back at mile 71, and it wasn't until mile 81 that I was passed again, and officially relinquished my top 10 position.
Mile 84. All I had to do was walk two more miles to the Fire Tower aid station, and I could lay down for a while. Nope, I couldn't wait that long. My body wasn't having it. I needed to lay down now. I was walking 45 minute mile pace. Over the next two miles I layed down on the side of the trail four times for a total of about an hour. My stomach was not feeling any better, and it took nearly 1.5 hours to walk two miles. About a quarter mile from the aid station a volunteer came bounding down the trail to look for me. A few of the other runners had reported to the aid station they had seen a guy laying on the side of the trail "just sorta chilling there like he was relaxing".
When I finally got to the aid station, I knew my only resort was to lay down for a while. How long, I did not know. Within a few minutes I was already getting incredibly cold and wrapped myself in several blankets like a little Asian burrito. After an hour I got up to pee and nearly vomited to which I commented "Just like being back in college!". Pee pee break done, back to being an Asian burrito.
Two hours passed.....Small bobbing lights would come into view. Runners trickling in the dark night and vanishing off into the even darker early morning......My stomach was still churning and bubbling......Three hours passed.....I could hear bits and pieces of faint conversation between my lapses in sleep. A cool rain was falling....3 hours and 30 minutes.....the medic came and went....4 hours passed.....it was now, or never.
It was now 4:45am. I arrived at the aid station at 12:45am. Four hours of laying down, and I inexplicably felt worse than when I arrived. Over the past 10 hours I had not eaten more than a cup of broth and a few sips of ginger ale. Since laying down obviously didn't help, I knew I had to just get up and get moving. It was the only way I was going to make it to the next aid station, no less finish the race. At this point my G.A.S (give a shit) meter was also broken, and I switched into just finish mode. I got up, threw on a Snuggie (yes you read that right), because I was freezing from not moving for so long. After over fours hours at the Fire Tower aid station I made my first steps of forward progress, in my Snuggie, and was sent off with loud cheers. My body had long since been running on fumes. The meter was on empty, and had been on empty for quite some time now. Now I was moving on the pure strength of my will. It was all I had left. The resurrection of Mike Bailey.
Six hours later, through mud and chilly morning downpours, I crossed the finish line in 28:55. The last 23.2 mile loop of the course took me 12:25. I had needed to casually walk/run it in 7:22 in order to break 24 hours. Basically, I could have walked the final loop and broken 24 hours. However, some days are just not meant to be, and all you can do is just try and finish. It was like going on a date with Beyonce, and having her look like Oprah by the end of the night. Still a wealthy bang for the buck, just not nearly as attractive.
I think the races that give us the most challenge, can often come with the most reward. I think my crappy Massanutten 100 made me more mentally tough to handle a horrific day at this race. In a way, Mohican was much more mentally agonizing because of how well I had been running when shit hit the fan. At Massanutten I was never near the front, and was still pretty set on dropping, and yet at Mohican the notion of dropping never entered my thoughts. Even without a pacer, or crew, and even offers to get a ride back, I was 100% set on finishing. I suppose it really is the rough days that make us tougher, and not so much the "easier" successes.
Other than that, there were some fun quirky moments of this race.
1. Unknown to me, I ran the entire first loop with my shirt on backwards. That's what I get for putting my clothes on in a dark tent
2. I did run 3 miles of the race wearing a Snuggie
3. I lost both a handheld bottle and a flashlight
4. Shattered my "motionless at an aid station" PR by three hours (previously set at Massanutten)
5. Had roughly a 30 minute conversation about poop with a female runner (note: it was mostly her talking)
6. Drank water from a stream (possibly the reason I got sick. It almost makes sense with the timing of events)
6. Ran through a waterfall as tribute to The Last of the Mohicans yelling "I will find you. Just stay alive!"
7. Forgot to pack a watch. Ran watchless all day. The second 100 I have finished without a watch.